- Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret?
- Lemony Snicket: Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.
What's wrong with our society.
- Kim Kardashian: I'd like to marry this dude and spend $10 million dollars on a publicity wedding please oh and then 72 days later I'd like a divorce
- America: Well sure why not?
- Britney Spears: I want to get hitched in a chapel in Vegas and have the marriage annulled fifty-five hours later because I didn't know what the hell I was doing
- America: Whatever you want!
- Carmen Electra: I want to get married in Vegas to this basketball player and then annul the marriage nine days later cuz we were both drunk lololololololololol
- America: Okay, sounds like fun!
- Gay couple: We would like to get married and spend our lives together and possibly adopt unwanted children to give them a good home and -
- America: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS THAT IS DISGUSTING AND WRONG YOU DEFILE THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE SO GTFO
